THE DEFINITIVE KID GUIDE
1. A baby goat.
Characteristics: lack of height, beard, and driver’s license. Dad called Billy or Buck.
Example sentence: “Hey, that kid’s mom has a beard and wattles!”
2. A young human, especially a Child.
Characteristics: lack of height, beard & driver’s license. Dad may be called Billy or Buck.
Example sentence: “How can such a loud noise come from such a small kid?”
3. Someone younger or less experienced than you.
Characteristics: lack of apparent common sense or respect for your awesomeness
Example sentence: “Hey kid, who do you think you are?” (CAUTION: rhetorical question only)
Not sure how to tell which one is making a mess in your house?
Examine photo above. If the kid who is making a mess looks like the kid on the right, it is a baby goat. You should probably call animal control. And close your front door already. But if it looks like the kid on the left, it is a young human kid. Show him or her the picture of this adorable baby goat. Because kids usually like other kids.
KidLit (slang for Kid Literature)
1. Literature written primarily for young humans.
2. A useful distraction to feed baby goats while you’re waiting for animal control to arrive.